I’m having a really low moment. This moment is full of grief over the loss of my best friend. I want to talk to him, to feel that comfort again. That comfort, however, is gone. He is no longer my best friend.
Well-meaning people avidly protest our divorce, “But, are you sure?” They say. “He sounds very lost and confused, and it’s all so quick. Wouldn’t it make sense to just spend some time apart instead of getting a divorce?” These questions cause fresh wounds to rip open again. Deep in my soul, I know he no longer loves me the way he once did or he would be fighting for us. I think he has known subconsciously for some time that he wants a divorce. He was just not brave or aware enough to tell me in a less destructive way.
It’s hard not to take his desire to separate from me and our marriage personally. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that I did everything I could. In my rationale moments, I know I did, but there are times when the darkness engulfs me, and I am dragged down into the murky depths of doubt. At my core, I am a fighter. I always have been.
This, however, makes letting go of control difficult. But, I must. My soon to be ex wants a divorce. He does not love me in the way I deserve. What can a person do in this situation besides accept their fate and pray for resolution? Pray that all will be as it should and is meant to be?
